Riva won 7 awards

Riva won 7 awards. 

And I could not be more proud of my fellow filmmakers, Chris Wiegand and Alan Tregoning. It was both a joy and honor to create this film with you. 

Also, I must thank God for His provision in completely showing up at every step along the way from clearly working in the hearts of crazy generous people - who let us film at their locations, created our entire wardrobe, and so much more - to His provision in keeping me from getting bitten by the snakes in that water! 

As I got home well after midnight - after all the excitement of the after party, red carpet photos and interviews, and meeting our amazingly talented fellow filmmakers and award-winners - all was still and quiet. And I couldn't help but think:

"That's it?"

These awards are my first ever in the entertainment industry (besides winning Best Actress at a showcase in 2009.) I've watched many awards shows on TV from my couch - the Emmys, Grammys, Academy Awards and others - and I've thought, "How cool it must be to be there! How great to be getting recognized! How... fulfilling!" 

But as I experienced it all for myself (though just to be clear, I am not comparing this to the Academy Awards by any means!), as I was the one walking up to receive awards, and I was the one giving that acceptance speech... I was also the one coming home to a quiet house after all was said and done, on a Sunday night before a Monday morning when it's back to the grind and wondering if I will ever work again in this town! 

As crazy as it seems, I've heard successful filmmakers and famous actors say they have the same doubts. They have the same fears. And I know some feel the loneliness and weight of that quiet when they find themselves in that calm after the storm - that inner emptiness that continually lurks despite the greatest amount of worldly "fulfillment." 

I felt a tugging at my heart for all those actors and filmmakers who don't know Christ. I long for them to know His love, to find their worth in Him, their acceptance by Him, and their fulfillment in Him. I long for them to know they are His child, He is their Father, and they don't have to fear. 

"I'm no longer a slave to fear; I am a child of God." - Bethel Music, No Longer Slaves

Because at the end of the day, when the bright lights of the stage and flashbulbs fade, there is only one true light that remains, that endures through all the "hype," that cuts through the darkness without fail. Every time. 

There was a swelling sadness in my heart that arose amidst the great joy from the evening. With a heavy heart, I prayed for those who don't know Christ in this industry. 

And with a grateful heart I thanked God for His goodness in encouraging me along in my career - on this journey that often seems so rocky, so winding, dark and unknown. I thanked Him for being the faithful One who makes my crooked paths straight (Isaiah 45:2), who leads me by still waters (Psalm 23:2), who calms the storms of life (Psalm 107:29), and who brings me fulfillment - not the fulfillment that comes from worldly recognition and praise, but the fulfillment that comes from knowing who I am in Him. 

I would love to continue working in the entertainment industry. I love acting. I love writing. I love storytelling. I love creating quality content to be consumed by believers and non-believers alike - content that is pure, that gets people thinking, that is high quality, and that ultimately points all to Christ. 

But I know there is much I can't control in this industry, and I know there is much I can't control in my life (and thank God for that!) But I also know that wherever the Lord leads, whatever doors He opens (or doesn't!), that I will be used by Him, that He will guide me on the path He chooses, and that as long as I look to Him, seek to glorify Him, always give Him the recognition, honor, and praise - where He leads, I will follow. And I will be fulfilled. 

I am beyond grateful for the recognition we received last night for our film, Riva - one that represents a ton of hard work, of literal blood, sweat, and tears, and years of pounding the pavement in this industry. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to create this film and for everything the 168 Film Project is doing. There are some incredible films created through it, and I'm thrilled to share ours with you soon. 

Thank you for reading my scattered thoughts and reflections. To Him be all the recognition. 

Riva won the following awards at the 168 Film Festival:

Best Editor

Best Director

Best Cinematography

Best Scriptural Integration

Best Supporting Actress

Best Actress

Best Film

Stay tuned. We will eventually post the full 11-minute version of our short film, Riva. But in the meantime, you may watch the trailer here!

crying "mercy"

Mercy.

It’s the universal word for “enough,” “stop,” “cease.”

I used to call it out when my dad and I would wrestle and he would tickle me so hard I couldn’t breathe. Lately I’ve been calling it out to my heavenly dad – and not because I’ve been laughing so hard.

Enough waiting. Stop the madness. Cease this striving.

Those are the thoughts that have been swimming through my head.

I’ve been waiting for financial provision in my career.
I am overcome by the “madness” that is the entertainment industry – so tainted, so lost.
I’ve been striving to be used by God in a big way in my acting and writing.

For seven years. I guess you could say I’m at the “seven year itch” of my career.

Yesterday, the 168 Film Festival announced the nominees for awards this year. I produced, co-wrote and starred in a film called Riva. I poured my heart and soul into this project. Pour out blood, sweat, and tears. Literally. I was scratched by thorns, eaten by bugs, drenched in rain. I was covered in mud, deprived of sleep, and swam with snakes.

And it was one of the best weeks of my life.

Sitting there with the cast and crew watching the completed film was so incredible, so rewarding, yet so… defeating.

Let me explain: While half of me rejoices in getting to create – to write and to act, to do what truly makes my soul come alive – half of me feels sad, longing to be able to do so more and do so for a living.

And to do so for the Lord? Well, what more could I ask? (This is a Christian festival. Each film is written from a Bible verse. Ours was Mark 5:34 – “And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from suffering.’”  You may watch the Riva trailer here).

Every fiber of my being longs to write, act, and create – beautiful stories, funny stories, just quality, wholesome stories. And while I have been doing so to a certain extent, there is only so much you can control in this industry.

For instance, I can create a concept, write a series, even film the pilot episode. But then it’s fate lies in the hands of others.

I try to stay positive, to let go, to remind myself that God is in control. But that in itself is confusing to me at times. If God is in control, then He has the power and ability to open all doors for my career…

But He isn’t. And I’m tired. Mercy, I’m tired.

My cute aunt once said in her Southern accent, “I’m tired… Mercy, I’m tired.” And it’s been our little family joke/saying ever since. “Mercy, I’m tired.”

Well, I was talking to one of my best friends yesterday who made me want to cry mercy a bit less and gave me a bit more energy to press on in this crazy industry. She said to me:

“What if you are waiting for God to bring you an opportunity, to provide for you financially… and He already has. What if you’ve already written that story, made the connection, walked through the door and just don’t know it yet?”

Such sweet truth.

When I feel like God isn’t showing up, when it seems He isn’t using me or providing for me, maybe He is. Maybe it just doesn’t look like I want it to. Maybe I just can’t see it yet.

So today, as I start anew, in the midst of the waiting, the longing, and the bittersweet victories, I will cease calling “mercy.” I will press on, face a new day, and find peace in Psalm 46:10:

“Cease striving and know that I am God.”

He is faithful. He’s never failed me yet. Why would He start now?

Riva was nominated for the following awards:

Best Film

Best Director: Chris Wiegand

Best Actress: Meredith Adams

Best Supporting Actress: Andrea Cohen

Best Scriptural Integration (use of Foundational Scripture): Meredith Adams & Alan Tregoning

Best Cinematography: Chris Wiegand

Best Editor: Chris Wiegand

Best Sound Design: Chris Wiegand

Best Production Design: Robin Cook & Chris Wiegand

Best Hair & Makeup: Meredith Adams

Congratulations to my amazing team of fellow filmmakers: Chris Wiegand, Alan Tregoning, Robin Cook, Andrea Cohen, Luke Coffee, and Grant James. As well as my amazingly generous parents for helping out beyond what is normal for any human being.

The 168 Film Festival will he held in Los Angeles August 29-30.

walk on the water

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a sailboat - with no wind. Only waves. Or only stillness. And only you?

I've felt like that with my career lately. Pursuing an acting career is often like being in a sailboat - stuck in the middle of the ocean. Nothing but deep waters on every side. No momentum to keep you going. No one to direct your path.

It can feel so confusing. I can feel so lost. I can even feel hopeless in those greatest moments of uncertainty.

"Oh, I'm out in the waves and I'm hoping and praying, 'Please let this wind blow me home.' And night after night there's an empty horizon, and, my God, do I feel so alone." 

Maybe the "home" you're trying to get to is a destination in your career. Maybe it's to find a relationship. Maybe it's to have a child or see healing brought to a loved one or a million other longings of your heart.

Maybe you feel you've been out in the waves, hoping and praying. Maybe it feels God has brought you out into the waters and left you. With no light to point you to the horizon. With no wind to help you sail to shore. 

But maybe, just maybe... I had this crazy thought: 

Maybe we don't need the sailboat. 

Maybe God has brought us out into the middle of the ocean in that sailboat, but now He wants us to get out of that boat. Maybe now He wants us to walk on the water.

"'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus."

Maybe it's not such a crazy thought after all. After all, Peter did it.

Sometimes when we don't see a way, God opens our eyes and expands our horizon to show us an even greater alternative, a way in the dark, a path we never saw coming. Sometimes He wants to show us that all we need is within us... because He is within us. All we need is a little faith.

Maybe we just need to put our faith into motion... and step out into the ocean. Do you believe He will bring you safely to shore?

"The only difference is believing I'll make it in." 

Today I'm looking for new ways to step out in faith, to hold onto the hope to which I have been called, to hold tight to the promise that He is there - in the calm, in the storms, in the empty sailboat... and out on the waters. 

"You called me out upon the waters..."

"But I'm not giving up; I'm gonna move on forward." 

"And I don't really care if nobody else believes, cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me." 

 

This is video of my mom "walking on water." It rained so much at the lake that it completely covered our dock... making it possible for her to do so. And so it is in life. Sometimes the rain in our lives creates the very means by which we, too, can walk on water.

*for better video quality, see my Instagram vid*

take another little piece of my heart

As an "auditioning actress" I constantly pour my soul into a different characters. I step into their world. I envision their life as if it were my own. Their hurt, their pain, their trials. Their victories, their triumphs, and their joys. 

I give them my time. I give them my compassion. I give them my heart. 

And when I don't book a role - for whatever reason that may be (I am too young, too old, too brunette, too blonde, to short, too tall, have too few followers on Instagram - yes that happens. Often.) - I feel as if the character, this part of me, this piece of my heart, is taken from me. 

It's almost like a breakup... I found this graphic I had drawn in one of my idea journals from a creative advertising class I took in college. I feel it somewhat applies...

I feel for these girls. I hurt for these women. Even long after my audition I remember them. For they are now - and will always be - a part of me. 

I was watching the Avengers last night, and there was this moment where Jeremy Renner's character is encouraging Elizabeth Olsen's character to come out from the shelter she has found in the midst of a battle and to fight. He says something along the lines of:

"Look. They're equipped with powerful weapons. I have only a bow and arrow. It makes no sense. But I continue to go out there and fight. Because that's my job."

In that moment tears filled my eyes. For that is so often how I feel... I feel as if I am equipped with only a bow and arrow facing many more powerful forces (actresses with more credits, the sheer nature of the entertainment industry as a whole, the "lottery" of it all - even getting an audition, much less booking a role).

Yet I continue to pour my soul into these characters. I continue to fight for the roles and projects about which I am passionate. I continue to give my heart - and my hair color! - to these girls, to these women, whom I have the honor of portraying - even if only for three minutes in an audition room... It makes no sense. But it is my job. 

And so I press on. And so I continue to leave the comfort of shelter. And so I continue to fight. And I say... "Just take it. Take another little piece of my heart now, baby."

how do we measure success?

How do we measure success?

A number in our bank account?

A title on our office door?

A picture-perfect Christmas card?

From a young age, we are taught to measure. To count. To assign value. We are taught to achieve. To excel. To succeed. But what are we taught to succeed in? Power? Wealth? Status?

We can't ignore what's been ingrained in us from a young age. Nor should we. Working hard, excelling, creating, building, providing, achieving - these are all great things, necessary things - even Biblical things.

Jeremiah 29:5 tells us,"build houses... plant gardens and eat what they produce." Psalm 138:7-8 advises, "do not abandon the work or your hands." And Haggai 2:4, "'Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the Lord, 'and work...'"

We are not called to not succeed. We are certainly not called to be lazy (Romans 12:11, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Proverbs 24:33-34).

So when it comes down to the heart of the matter - when it comes down to our hearts - how should we measure success?

In his book Reaching Out, Henri Nouwen says,

"But it is of great importance that we leave the world of measurements behind when we speak about the life of the Spirit." 

We live in a society that values validation. We live in a culture that constantly measures productivity. But what if our desires for output and achievement were replaced by a desire for a true and deep relationship with Christ and a soul-consuming presence of the Holy Spirit?

My time in the "wilderness" of no social media may not have been measured by the tangible - "likes," "followers," and "retweets" - but it was marked by the intangible - and an incomparable - shift in perspective... one which I hope to maintain as I re-enter the world - the world of social media that is.

For I was so graciously reminded that I am not defined by the measures of this world - by the number of dollars in my bank account, by the number of acting jobs I book, or the number of Instagram followers I have (though apparently that helps with booking acting jobs these days).

while I would love to book more roles in tv and film, I know they won't satisfy me in the long run, that they are neither my purpose nor my measure of success here in LA.

Rather, I am defined by measures of my heart - the way I care for and love the people God has brought into my life, the way I seek out ways to serve His kingdom, the way I seek to know Him and spend time with Him.

I found this cedar medallion from my time as a camper at Pine Cove. what a better measure of achievement than a report card assessing grades or a gold medal assessing skill - rather an evaluation of who I am, not what I do. don't mind the misspelled name :)

As 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us,

"People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

It's a daily battle to maintain this perspective, to be reminded of this truth. As a Type A doer and achiever, I really like to accomplish the tangible - to write a certain number of pages in my screenplay, to check things off my to-do list, to "measure" the productivity of my day...

But what if I found a greater satisfaction in measures which are far more difficult to count, but far more important in this life? The measures of the heart...

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about you; it's all about you, Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it when it's all about you..." - Matt Redman, Heart of Worship

Never have those words rung more convicting and true.

.......

If you liked this post, you may enjoy "into the wilderness," "out of the wilderness," "Criminal Minds: Part 1," "Criminal Minds: Part 2"

starving myself

I was driving home the other night and a lyric of a song brought a sudden and unexpected flood of tears to my eyes.

“The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal.”

I immediately thought of how I am hungry – not for actual food, but hungry for so many other things in life. And how at times I am guilty of trying to steal – not actually stealing, but stealing in a sense of trying to take before the Lord gives.

As I continued to listen more closely, I was both convicted and encouraged. This song - Times, by Tenth Avenue North - goes on to list all the “times” when we may doubt God’s love for us:

           

            The times that you doubt me, when you can’t feel

            The times that you question, is this for real

            The times you’re broken

            The times that you mend

            The times you hate me

            The times that you bend

            The times when you’re healing, and when your heart breaks

            The times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace

            The times you’re hurting

            The times that you heal

            The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

            In times of confusion, in chaos and pain

How guilty I am of doubting God’s love for me in such “times.”

How guilty I am of attempting to steal that which God already has in store for me, the plans which He already has laid out for me, the blessings which He is already planning on bestowing upon me.

In Genesis 25 Esau sold his inheritance as the firstborn son to his brother Jacob… for a meal. Philip Yancey and Tim Stafford put it this way:

            “[He let] his hunger overwhelm his concern for things of last value.”

Are we so focused on our hunger for the things of this world that we are starving ourselves from the things of the Lord?

Yesterday I was feeling so overwhelmed by this career as an actress and writer…. so fragmented in my efforts to succeed, so discouraged by putting my heart and soul into characters whom I’ll never get to truly bring to life. Just exhausted by it all.

I left all my work – auditions to prep for, emails to answer, junk to organize – and went for a run so I could hear from the Lord. And faithful as always, He filled my starving soul with the provision of His truths. This verse popped into my head:

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” – James 4:3

Ouch. But so true.

I say I only want success to help make the Lord’s name more famous, to be a light in this city and world full of darkness, to serve Christ more fully… yet why am I so anxious?

If I get to the root of the matter, if I’m truly examining my heart in these “times,” I doubt God’s love and that He wants great things for my life. And I see that the things I want for my life are not always coming from a place of wanting to serve and bless the Lord but to serve and bless myself.

The truth is God is using me. Every day. It may not look exactly how I want it to look. But it looks exactly how He wants it to look. He is all powerful. He put the stars in the sky. He has me right where He wants me.

The lyrics go on to tell us exactly what the Lord wants us to know, if we will seek Him above our earthly desires, if we will listen closely to His loving voice:

            I hear you say, ‘My love is over, it’s underneath, it’s inside it’s in between.

            I’m there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

            I’m there in the storm

            My love I will keep you by my power alone

            I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been

            I’ll never forsake you

My love never ends.

It never ends.’”

So when we doubt we are being used, when we are so full of longing, when we are so hungry that we’re tempted to steal, let’s remember God’s love for us, let’s trust in His provision, and let’s wait on His timing.

Whatever “times” we are going through, let’s listen closely. For when we do, we just might hear our sweet Savior say:

            “‘My love is over, it’s underneath, it’s inside, it’s in between.’”

We don’t need to starve ourselves. We have a loving and gracious Father who is waiting faithfully to fill us up with His love.

a crazy dream

With every birthday comes thoughts of reevaluation. Looking over the past year – assessing victories and failures. Looking to the future – setting goals for the next year of life.

I think of how far I’ve come this past year. I think of how much more I want to accomplish. And I think of the vivid dreams I have had - both literal and figurative.

“I had a dream so big and loud, I jumped so high I touched the clouds.” 

– American Authors, Best Day of My Life

This career path I’ve chosen is not a “normal” one. Then again, I’ve never felt “normal.”

I'm sure there are plenty of people who think I'm crazy, plenty of people who think I'll never "make it" – that my dreams are too far out of reach, that I'm wasting my time.

To them I say: Maybe. But you don't know what the future holds. I don't know what the future holds. Only the Lord knows what the future holds. So in the meantime…

“I’m gonna live a crazy dream, impossible as it may seem.” – Mindy Gledhill, Whole Wide World

Because just as I can’t not breathe, just as I can’t not think, just as I can’t not smile when my dad’s determined to make me do so, I can’t not dream.

In my career. In my life. In love. In friendship. In seeking and serving the Lord. I will follow my heart. And I will dream.

The Lord is in my heart. The Lord is my heart - my reason for everything. And He has put desires in my heart – in all of our hearts – to allow us to be used to the fullest of our abilities for His purposes and His glory.

And I am certain He wants us to dream.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

We are not called to live timidly; we are called to live boldly. The bold dream in your own heart may seem impossible to accomplish, too far out of reach to achieve. But God says otherwise. He says:

“For with [me] nothing shall be impossible.” – Luke 1:37

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” – Jeremiah 32:17

I don’t know what this next year of my life will bring. But I know where my heart will be - seeking the Lord, asking Him to reveal how He would use me each day, and allowing Him to lead me and guide me each step of the way.

And so I will continue to live this crazy dream, knowing that with God all dreams are possible.

And I will remember that no matter what I accomplish in this next year, nothing will be by my own power or strength or doing, but only by the Lord working so graciously through me.

“'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.’ says the Lord Almighty.” – Zechariah 4:6

nothing is wasted.

Have you ever looked back on a failed relationship and thought, "What a waste?" 

Have you looked back on years spent on a seemingly fruitless career and wondered, "What's the point of it all?" 

Have you wondered, "Is all my labor in vain?"

The Lord promises in Galations 6:7, "A man reaps what he sows." So, what does that mean for us? That we will get everything we want? Receive everything for which we ask? 

Head on over to Kindred Grace today to find out why "Nothing is Wasted." I pray the Lord encourages you through my most humble of words. 

I am so honored to a guest contributor on this amazing site brought to you by some truly incredible Christ-seeking women. To Him be the glory.

walk by faith

“I want to be your hands. I want to be your feet. I’ll go where you send me.” – Audio Adrenaline, Hands and Feet

I feel as if the Lord has sent me here to LA. He clearly opened some doors for me and lined everything up so that despite knowing virtually no one and only ever having been to LA for about 48 hours, I felt so at peace in moving here.

Yet despite being certain I’ve been called here, sometimes I feel like I’m wandering, like I’m not quite sure where I am going.

As an actress I go on audition after audition and face an endless stream of rejection. There are so many more “nos” than “yeses”… It’s just that nature of this industry.

Sometimes I am not seeing why the Lord is having me face such rejection… Sometimes I am confused. Sometimes I want to give up.

And then I am so gently reminded of His truth.

There are some great lyrics in this song by Jeremy Camp called Walk by Faith:

“I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see you.”

And I know this is what I am called to do. What we are all called to do.

To walk by faith.

Maybe you, too, feel as if you are wandering. Maybe you are not quite where you would like to be in your career, in your relationship status, in life in general.

Well, the thing about faith? As Hebrews 11:1 tells us:

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

We may not see what the Lord is doing in our lives or why He has us where He has us. But we can be certain that the Lord is working, that He is leading us, that He is guiding our way – no matter how uncertain our path may seem.

Abraham was lead on an uncertain path. Hebrews 11:8 tells us:

“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”

God was faithful to His promise in Genesis 17:5 that Abraham would be the “father of many nations.” Hebrews 11:12 reveals “from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the san on the seashore.”

Thank goodness Abraham trusted God. Thank goodness he didn’t give up. Thank goodness he walked by faith.

things I learned from casting

We recently held auditions for my upcoming web series, "how to lose a girl in one date." The fabulously talented Becky Silverman was my casting director, and I am so thankful for the talented actors who came in to read.

As an actor who has been to my share of casting director workshops, I have heard many opinions/tips/pet peeves regarding the casting process. And I have found myself asking, "Why would an actor throw a sharpened pencil at your face?!" and other equally disturbing questions. Certainly, such a thing would never happen... Right?

Wrong.

In just one four-hour casting session, I witnessed firsthand just how weird/awkward/inappropriate actors can be. While there were no sharpened pencils thrown (thankfully), I feel I have some humble advice worth sharing. (Keep in mind I am not claiming to be a professional casting director by any means. This is merely a compilation of information I have gathered along the way that you may choose to take or leave.) So, here it is...

What not to do when auditioning:

1. Don't be 15 years older than your headshot... Please. For the love. They called you in because your headshot looks like the character they are trying to cast. If they are looking for a 19-year-old, and your headshot looks like you are 19, yet you walk in the room being 32 - even as I'm writing this, I am reminded of the Friends episode... anyone? Joey: "Dude, am I nineteen or what?" - No, you are not 19. And you have lost me at hello. Don't waste everyone's time - including yours. Embrace your age! Hollywood needs actors of every shape and size.
2. Don't touch the casting director... I repeat. Do not. At any point, at any time, for any reason. Touch the casting director. (Or anyone else in the room for that matter.) They don't know where your hands have been. Don't do it when you are introducing yourself. And certainly don't do it in the middle of your audition. It will pull everyone out of your brilliant read. Remember in fourth grade when your teacher would make you sit on your hands? Mentally sit on your hands.
3. Don't change the script... especially if the writer is in the room! When you change the dialogue, essentially you are telling the writer that what you came up with in a few minutes is better than what they came up with in a few months. Often you haven't even been given the entire script, so you can't possibly even know the full context. So, honor the writer. Honor the script. They are the writer. You are the actor. If you want to be the writer, go home and write your own script... Then have actors come in and change all the words :)
4. Don't stalk the casting director or writer, producer, or director. Don't track down their personal Facebook page and "message" them 32 seconds after the breakdown has been posted. Don't send them an email longer than Great Expectations with your life story, hopes and dreams, list of high school theater credits, and an offer of your firstborn if they will only call you in to audition. Unless someone has asked you to "friend" them on Facebook or given you their personal email, respect their private lives. Less stalker. More professional.
5. Don't say offensive things... religious or otherwise. You never know who is in the room. You never know what beliefs/background/etc these people have. Don't cuss. Don't say the Lord's name in vain. Keep it PG. Keep it clean. Keep it professional. Remember: this a job interview. You are a business. Treat yourself as such.
6. Don't act rude or condescending to the main character... unless you are auditioning to play their arch nemesis/ex-lover/imminent killer (or sometimes all three wrapped into one!) If you are reading for the role of the lead actor's best friend, taking a negative or derogatory spin on the dialogue makes that main character look bad in the scene. Which, in turn, makes you look bad in your audition. So find a way to keep it positive.

Speaking of positive, here are a few tips on what to do when auditioning:

1. Be a human being! Call me crazy, I know. But when you come into the room like a human being, it makes all the difference in the world! No need to be super awkward and nervous. Remember, they want you to get the part! Show the casting director/writer/producer/director your charming self. Let them see a glimpse of your fabulous personality in those thirty seconds of small talk. (Notice I said thirty seconds - be sure you don't ramble on. These people have families to see, lives to be lived, and a long list of actors coming in after you). Leave them wanting more... Just like in dating.
2. Be confident in your choices. Don't ask them how they want you to do the scene. Do the scene how you would do the scene. Bring yourself to the character. Let your essence shine through. They called you in for a reason. If you make a strong choice, even if it's the wrong choice, they will recognize your talent and potential and often give you a chance to do the scene again with some redirection. So check your timidity at the door, come in with a choice, and execute it confidently!
3. Stay in the scene! The actress that booked the role of my roommate actually "messed up" more than any of the other actresses. But she stayed in the scene, allowing the awkwardness of the moment shine through as the character. It was endearing to watch and honestly put me at ease as writer/producer/lead actress knowing that when we are on set, she will do the same thing. And keep in mind... you never know what magic might result from "messing up."

So next time you walk into an audition, just remember: These people are just that - people. If you feel nervous, they will feel nervous. If you have fun with it, they will have fun with it. So do your homework, go in there and be your charming self, and impress everyone in that room with just how confident, professional, and talented you are. 

Even if you don't get the part, you've given it your all, and that's all you can control. (And hopefully they will call you in for future roles for which you may be right.)

Remember: every "no," every closed door is an opportunity for God to point you in the direction of another door, to the right door, to the "yes" that will make this all worth it. 

All the best to all my actor friends (and strangers) alike. Your passion, pursuit, and perseverance are inspiring.

- M

“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.” – Amos Bronson Alcott

taking a step in faith

Jack Johnson has sung about it...

"Don't let your dreams be dreams."

Denzel Washington has spoken about it...

"Dreams without goals remain dreams, just dreams, and they ultimately fuel disappointment." 

A Proverbs has been written about it...

"Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth." (Proverbs 10:4)

In life, it's easy to stay in a safe and comfortable place. It's easy to get complacent, satisfied with the status quo.

But if you think back to the most memorable times in your life, the times of greatness, were they not the times when you did something big, something scary, when you took a bold step in faith?

I've been developing an idea for a web series for a while now. Like well over a year. And while I enjoy writing the episodes, while I am excited about the project, it has taken me longer than I'd like to admit to actually make a bold move in creating it. 

I wondered:
- How will I ever get the right team together who are willing to work for no/minimal pay?
- How will we get the equipment we need?
- How will I get it edited on a budget and still have it look good?
- How will I get all the graphics, sound effects, and music put into it?

I think God often calls us to step out into the unknown before he works things out. After all, if we could see everything laid out perfectly before us, well, there wouldn't be a thing called faith.

In Joshua chapter 3, Joshua and his people are trying to cross the Jordan river, a huge, wide, vast, deep river. They knew where they needed to go, where the Lord was leading them, but they didn't know how they would get across. Oh, and they were carrying the huge Ark of the Covenant, too. But something crazy happened....

They put their feet into the water... and the waters stopped. The river dried up. And they walked safely across to the other side.

The Lord was faithful. But they had to act in faith. Sometimes God calls us to step into the water, to take that first step, before he will provide a way.

I don't know about you, but I've spent enough time waiting - for my agents to get me auditions, for people to hire me, for success to find me.

I have spent enough time waiting. I think it's time I take a step in faith.

I still have a lot of uncertainties about how my web series will pan out. But I have taken the first step. I have found a director and an associate producer. We have filmed a pitch video for Indiegogo to raise some funds to shoot the first two episodes. And already so many of the pieces are falling into place.

But are they really falling into place? Or is God putting them there?

I'd like to think the latter. I have been praying for God to work behind the scenes and help bring together all the right people and tools we need for this project. While there are still many unknowns, I'm taking that first step.

I am so inspired by this short speech Denzel gave to a group of young actors. In it he says:

"Between goals and achievement are discipline and consistency." 

"It's not how much you have; it's what you do with what you have."

I am in between my goal and achievement. I am disciplined and determined to make the most of the resources I have. Won't you help my dreams not be dreams?

how to lose a girl in one date. coming soon.

How do you lose a girl in one date? Let me count the ways... But before I do, I will give you a little background to this story.

Four years ago, I packed up and moved out to LA to pursue my career in acting. I didn't know what to expect. What to do. Where to go. I still don't. But my dad once said something that stuck with me.

If you ask anyone who has achieved great success how they go to the "top," they will likely tell you they had the confidence they would succeed and just figured it out along the way, taking one step at a time.

There's a great quote by Martin Luther King, Jr. that is such a beautiful picture of this:

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." 

Now, having faith that everything will work out and that success will come is great. But that doesn't mean we don't have to do our part, taking the first step, and then the next, and then the next...

There's another quote I love by Ann Landers:

"Opportunities are often disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."

Ain't that the truth.

As an actor in LA, it doesn't take long for one to realize how incredibly competitive an industry this is. Even if you are incredibly talented, there are no guarantees for success. I believe those who do achieve success do so through a combination of perseverance (through all the rejection) and being proactive (making things happen for themselves.)

So, instead of sitting around waiting for my agents and manager to call me with an audition, instead of waiting for an opportunity to come my way, to magically show up on my doorstep...

and let's be honest: very rarely, if ever, will an opportunity just show up at your doorstep... unless yo're on one of those tv shows where some guy with a huge, oversized check shows up at your door with cameras and tells you that you just won millions of dollars...

I have decided to get out there and make my own. Why wait for someone to hire me to play a role when I can write one for myself?

I have combined my love for writing and acting along with my plethora of - eh hem, interesting - dating experiences to create a series called, "how to lose a girl in one date." 

I have developed the concept, storyline, and characters. I have written the first season. I have sat around wondering how I would ever get this shot. I have doubted my efforts completely. And then I have decided to take a step of faith.

And the Lord has been so faithful. I have prayed that the right team would come together to make this possible, and God has truly begun to bring such an incredible group of individuals together to help me bring this vision to life. And I can't wait to see who else he brings together to play a part in turning hard work into opportunity, turning a dream into reality, and ultimately turning a tragedy into a comedy.

And YOU can be part of that team. Find out how, HERE. 

How do you lose a girl in one date? I will count the ways. But you will have to stay tuned and find out! Follow us on Facebook to keep up to date with the latest.

Until then, I will leave you with some very deep, very profound words from the a great and wise lyricist of our time:

"I'm not the girl who always has a boyfriend; I'm the girl who rarely has a boyfriend." - Taylor Swift

That's deep, Taylor. So very deep.

when nothing is certain, everything is possible

The future isn't always so clear in life. There are times of great uncertainty... Which way should I go? Which job should I take? Should I move here? Should I serve there?

There's a quote I love that apparently multiple people claim to have said first. And I don't blame them. It's profound and inspiring:

"When nothing is certain, everything is possible."

I snapped this photo the other day while riding my bike at the beach, but it wasn't until I got home that I saw this bird soaring through the frame. Free to roam. Free to soar. No set direction or agenda. Endless possibilities. Endless opportunities.

What a great, positive outlook to have. Instead of looking at our future with anxiety, let the uncertainty be an inspiration to us, a sense of overwhelming opportunity ahead, a great unknown.

See, the Lord has is all planned out. We just have to seek his face and take it one step at a time. He will reveal the path to us, his purpose for us. Just not all at once.

I know, I know. It's easier said than done. Tom Petty sings about it...

"the waiting is the hardest part." 

The in between times are the worst. I've been there, literally crying out to the Lord, "Okay, God. I'm here. I'm waiting. I'm listening. I will do whatever you tell me to do, I will go wherever you lead me to go. Just show up." 

And then He does.

And somehow I'm always shocked. But nevertheless He is faithful. He shows up. He leads me. He guides me. One foot in front of the other...

One stretch of open space into the next.

Paul was one of the most dynamic, passionate, risk-taking preachers in the New Testament. He used to persecute Christians, until one day on the road to Damascus, the Lord appeared to Him and he experienced a dramatic conversion, an overwhelming passion to turn from his ways and live his life for the Lord.

He devoted his life to doing so. But the following excerpt from my Bible in Romans really stood out to me, especially at this time in my life:

"Some years passed, though, before Paul found his role."

Huh. So even Paul experienced an in between time, a time when he was trying to find his specific role, his exact purpose, the steps he needed to take in order to make the most of his life and serve the Lord the most completely.

I can relate to that. Knowing that my ultimate goal is to be a light for the Lord. Knowing that I want to do so with the gifts He's given me. But not quite "finding my role" yet.

But then I am reminded, and comforted, by those oh-so-wise words...

"When nothing is certain, everything is possible."

I'm standing at the edge of endless possibilities. One of which is this. I hope to turn this possibility into reality. Endless opportunities await...

the edge of tomorrow

We've all pondered the thought before...

"If only I could know what was going to happen, if only I could know how it will all turn out, if only I could just see the future... then my life would be so much easier/I would have so much less anxiety/everything would be okay."

I recently saw The Edge of Tomorrow, starring Tom Cruise. In the movie, Tom's character can see the future because he's lived it before; he keeps living the same day over and over... until he is able to beat the bad guys, save the world, and win the girl, of course.

In the Old Testament, King Joram is also given a glimpse the future. After seven days of fighting against the king of Moab, the men had run out of water, at which point King Joram exclaimed, "What! Has the Lord called us three kings together only to hand us over to Moab?" (2 Kings 3:10).

He immediately doubted! Now, I'm not judging... Isn't that what we all do? I know I do.

All too often, when things look bleak, my first reaction is, "What!" immediately followed by some series of doubting questions to the Lord.

Well, thankfully the Lord is patient with me - with us - as he was with King Joram. Despite his doubting, the Lord tells him very clearly what the future holds - that they will have water and they will conquer Moab.

God may not give us a vision of what tomorrow looks like, like Tom. And He may not explicitly tell us what lies head, as with King Joram. But He is faithful, and He will provide a way. Even when we don't see a way. Especially when we don't see a way. For He tells us:

"I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:19

We may have no evidence of any provision to come, no reason to believe there will be "water." But isn't that how God likes to work? In ways unexplainable. In ways that can only be explained by the mystery of His provision and His provision only.

"You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water." - 2 Kings 3:17

What do you wish you could see of your future? What are the places of desolation in your life? I know I'd love to see the future of my acting career. To have some reassurance that success is on the way. This career certainly does seem desolate at times.

But what if instead of doubt and worry and despair, we had hope in that the more desolation there is today, the greater the opportunity for the Lord's provision there is tomorrow.

The Lord wants to bless us. But He wants to bless us in a way that results in us pointing it all back to Him, give Him the glory for our successes.

Being able to see the future would be great. It would certainly give us less anxiety in regards to the unknown. But it would also be boring. And much less fulfilling. For us and for God.

With each passing day we stand at the edge of another unknown, at "the edge of tomorrow." The question is, what kind of faith will we have today?

decent man. unique chance.

This excerpt in my Bible in 1 Kings jumped out to me. It reads:

"Politicians who run on a platform of reform often, when they attain power, act depressingly like the corrupt leaders they have just replaced. Such is the story of Jeroboam, a decent man who had a unique chance to stop Israel's slide into corruption."

And such is the story with so many of us, I thought.

There are many "decent men" on this earth. There are fewer "decent men" to whom the Lord gives a "unique chance" of a great position of power through which they have the opportunity to make a difference for His kingdom.

You've heard of the 1%. 1% of the population makes 99% of the money. And with money comes power. And influence. "A unique chance" of sorts...

A unique and rare opportunity to influence the world... for better or worse.

See, Jeroboam happened to work as a top official to King Solomon, one of the greatest rulers - as far as wealth and power - of all time. Solomon, however, did not follow the Lord's will and commands which resulted in the destruction of his empire. The dividing of his land and tribes into twelve parts.

During that process, Jeroboam was given ten of those twelves tribes. Skip forward to Jeroboam as king. When he feared his people would be won back to the competing southern nation, Jeroboam created a new religion that succeeded by this world's standards but was most definitely against God's instruction.

jersey boys

I saw a screening of Jersey Boys last night. It was amazing.

I have a special place in my heart for all of those songs as I grew up listening to my dad sing them around the house and play them for me as well.

I connect with music so deeply. And this story of how these four guys came together and created this amazing music is so interesting... full of amazing, incredible moments but also so full of hardship and pain.

As I was sitting there in the movie I thought, "There really is a price to fame."

Something has to be accounted for, something will be neglected, when you are that famous and that successful, when you are doing something with your life that is that demanding and time-consuming.

In Franki Valli's case, the price was his family. It unraveled.

Franki had a special connection with one of his daughters in particular, Francine. There is this moment in the film when Francine has run away (I think she's about 15 years old), and Franki flies halfway across the country and ends up finding her in the city. They sit at a diner and she doesn't say a word, but her reactions reveal everything she is thinking.

Franki just talks to her... She wants to become a singer. She has an amazing voice. But she is potentially going down the wrong path, rebelling and getting into trouble. Franki tells her that he knows what it feels like... And then he said something that stuck with me so clearly. He said:

"You feel like you have this great gift you want to share with the world. But you feel like no one cares."

Those words resonated in my mind long after I had left the theater, long after I had driven home amidst the flashing lights on Sunset, long after I had made it into my bed. As those words played on loop in my mind, I became increasingly overwhelmed with emotion.

That is exactly how I feel.