take another little piece of my heart

As an "auditioning actress" I constantly pour my soul into a different characters. I step into their world. I envision their life as if it were my own. Their hurt, their pain, their trials. Their victories, their triumphs, and their joys. 

I give them my time. I give them my compassion. I give them my heart. 

And when I don't book a role - for whatever reason that may be (I am too young, too old, too brunette, too blonde, to short, too tall, have too few followers on Instagram - yes that happens. Often.) - I feel as if the character, this part of me, this piece of my heart, is taken from me. 

It's almost like a breakup... I found this graphic I had drawn in one of my idea journals from a creative advertising class I took in college. I feel it somewhat applies...

I feel for these girls. I hurt for these women. Even long after my audition I remember them. For they are now - and will always be - a part of me. 

I was watching the Avengers last night, and there was this moment where Jeremy Renner's character is encouraging Elizabeth Olsen's character to come out from the shelter she has found in the midst of a battle and to fight. He says something along the lines of:

"Look. They're equipped with powerful weapons. I have only a bow and arrow. It makes no sense. But I continue to go out there and fight. Because that's my job."

In that moment tears filled my eyes. For that is so often how I feel... I feel as if I am equipped with only a bow and arrow facing many more powerful forces (actresses with more credits, the sheer nature of the entertainment industry as a whole, the "lottery" of it all - even getting an audition, much less booking a role).

Yet I continue to pour my soul into these characters. I continue to fight for the roles and projects about which I am passionate. I continue to give my heart - and my hair color! - to these girls, to these women, whom I have the honor of portraying - even if only for three minutes in an audition room... It makes no sense. But it is my job. 

And so I press on. And so I continue to leave the comfort of shelter. And so I continue to fight. And I say... "Just take it. Take another little piece of my heart now, baby."

things I learned from casting

We recently held auditions for my upcoming web series, "how to lose a girl in one date." The fabulously talented Becky Silverman was my casting director, and I am so thankful for the talented actors who came in to read.

As an actor who has been to my share of casting director workshops, I have heard many opinions/tips/pet peeves regarding the casting process. And I have found myself asking, "Why would an actor throw a sharpened pencil at your face?!" and other equally disturbing questions. Certainly, such a thing would never happen... Right?

Wrong.

In just one four-hour casting session, I witnessed firsthand just how weird/awkward/inappropriate actors can be. While there were no sharpened pencils thrown (thankfully), I feel I have some humble advice worth sharing. (Keep in mind I am not claiming to be a professional casting director by any means. This is merely a compilation of information I have gathered along the way that you may choose to take or leave.) So, here it is...

What not to do when auditioning:

1. Don't be 15 years older than your headshot... Please. For the love. They called you in because your headshot looks like the character they are trying to cast. If they are looking for a 19-year-old, and your headshot looks like you are 19, yet you walk in the room being 32 - even as I'm writing this, I am reminded of the Friends episode... anyone? Joey: "Dude, am I nineteen or what?" - No, you are not 19. And you have lost me at hello. Don't waste everyone's time - including yours. Embrace your age! Hollywood needs actors of every shape and size.
2. Don't touch the casting director... I repeat. Do not. At any point, at any time, for any reason. Touch the casting director. (Or anyone else in the room for that matter.) They don't know where your hands have been. Don't do it when you are introducing yourself. And certainly don't do it in the middle of your audition. It will pull everyone out of your brilliant read. Remember in fourth grade when your teacher would make you sit on your hands? Mentally sit on your hands.
3. Don't change the script... especially if the writer is in the room! When you change the dialogue, essentially you are telling the writer that what you came up with in a few minutes is better than what they came up with in a few months. Often you haven't even been given the entire script, so you can't possibly even know the full context. So, honor the writer. Honor the script. They are the writer. You are the actor. If you want to be the writer, go home and write your own script... Then have actors come in and change all the words :)
4. Don't stalk the casting director or writer, producer, or director. Don't track down their personal Facebook page and "message" them 32 seconds after the breakdown has been posted. Don't send them an email longer than Great Expectations with your life story, hopes and dreams, list of high school theater credits, and an offer of your firstborn if they will only call you in to audition. Unless someone has asked you to "friend" them on Facebook or given you their personal email, respect their private lives. Less stalker. More professional.
5. Don't say offensive things... religious or otherwise. You never know who is in the room. You never know what beliefs/background/etc these people have. Don't cuss. Don't say the Lord's name in vain. Keep it PG. Keep it clean. Keep it professional. Remember: this a job interview. You are a business. Treat yourself as such.
6. Don't act rude or condescending to the main character... unless you are auditioning to play their arch nemesis/ex-lover/imminent killer (or sometimes all three wrapped into one!) If you are reading for the role of the lead actor's best friend, taking a negative or derogatory spin on the dialogue makes that main character look bad in the scene. Which, in turn, makes you look bad in your audition. So find a way to keep it positive.

Speaking of positive, here are a few tips on what to do when auditioning:

1. Be a human being! Call me crazy, I know. But when you come into the room like a human being, it makes all the difference in the world! No need to be super awkward and nervous. Remember, they want you to get the part! Show the casting director/writer/producer/director your charming self. Let them see a glimpse of your fabulous personality in those thirty seconds of small talk. (Notice I said thirty seconds - be sure you don't ramble on. These people have families to see, lives to be lived, and a long list of actors coming in after you). Leave them wanting more... Just like in dating.
2. Be confident in your choices. Don't ask them how they want you to do the scene. Do the scene how you would do the scene. Bring yourself to the character. Let your essence shine through. They called you in for a reason. If you make a strong choice, even if it's the wrong choice, they will recognize your talent and potential and often give you a chance to do the scene again with some redirection. So check your timidity at the door, come in with a choice, and execute it confidently!
3. Stay in the scene! The actress that booked the role of my roommate actually "messed up" more than any of the other actresses. But she stayed in the scene, allowing the awkwardness of the moment shine through as the character. It was endearing to watch and honestly put me at ease as writer/producer/lead actress knowing that when we are on set, she will do the same thing. And keep in mind... you never know what magic might result from "messing up."

So next time you walk into an audition, just remember: These people are just that - people. If you feel nervous, they will feel nervous. If you have fun with it, they will have fun with it. So do your homework, go in there and be your charming self, and impress everyone in that room with just how confident, professional, and talented you are. 

Even if you don't get the part, you've given it your all, and that's all you can control. (And hopefully they will call you in for future roles for which you may be right.)

Remember: every "no," every closed door is an opportunity for God to point you in the direction of another door, to the right door, to the "yes" that will make this all worth it. 

All the best to all my actor friends (and strangers) alike. Your passion, pursuit, and perseverance are inspiring.

- M

“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.” – Amos Bronson Alcott

they audition people for this?

Ever wonder what it takes to have your face seen in the background of a commercial for a few seconds? More than one would think. I never knew, but now I do. You learn something new every day…

I was called in to audition for this KFC commercial. It was going to be a 13-week test cycle, meaning they would run the commercial in select markets with the option of making it national should it do well.

Lesly Kahn had just posted a blog about what to do when you are stuck waiting at an audition for an hour or more. As an actor, sitting there waiting for that long can really drain your creativity. Her advanced class of students had varying opinions on the matter. Some suggested leaving and coming back another day. Well, in the commercial world, that’s not an option considering the callbacks were the next day. Others suggested leaving for a few minutes to take a walk outside. Which is what I chose to do, considering I had to wait two and a half hours for my audition… So long, in fact, that they ordered us pizza. Yeah, that happened. Oh, and we were in an “underground” casting office in a basement with no Internet, no water fountain, barely any light… But I digress.

I took a little walk to put more money in the meter where I parked. Twice. And then took a third stroll down Hollywood Blvd to grab a cold Perrier (so LA of me, I know). When I got back, it was just about time for me to go in.