taking a step in faith

Jack Johnson has sung about it...

"Don't let your dreams be dreams."

Denzel Washington has spoken about it...

"Dreams without goals remain dreams, just dreams, and they ultimately fuel disappointment." 

A Proverbs has been written about it...

"Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth." (Proverbs 10:4)

In life, it's easy to stay in a safe and comfortable place. It's easy to get complacent, satisfied with the status quo.

But if you think back to the most memorable times in your life, the times of greatness, were they not the times when you did something big, something scary, when you took a bold step in faith?

I've been developing an idea for a web series for a while now. Like well over a year. And while I enjoy writing the episodes, while I am excited about the project, it has taken me longer than I'd like to admit to actually make a bold move in creating it. 

I wondered:
- How will I ever get the right team together who are willing to work for no/minimal pay?
- How will we get the equipment we need?
- How will I get it edited on a budget and still have it look good?
- How will I get all the graphics, sound effects, and music put into it?

I think God often calls us to step out into the unknown before he works things out. After all, if we could see everything laid out perfectly before us, well, there wouldn't be a thing called faith.

In Joshua chapter 3, Joshua and his people are trying to cross the Jordan river, a huge, wide, vast, deep river. They knew where they needed to go, where the Lord was leading them, but they didn't know how they would get across. Oh, and they were carrying the huge Ark of the Covenant, too. But something crazy happened....

They put their feet into the water... and the waters stopped. The river dried up. And they walked safely across to the other side.

The Lord was faithful. But they had to act in faith. Sometimes God calls us to step into the water, to take that first step, before he will provide a way.

I don't know about you, but I've spent enough time waiting - for my agents to get me auditions, for people to hire me, for success to find me.

I have spent enough time waiting. I think it's time I take a step in faith.

I still have a lot of uncertainties about how my web series will pan out. But I have taken the first step. I have found a director and an associate producer. We have filmed a pitch video for Indiegogo to raise some funds to shoot the first two episodes. And already so many of the pieces are falling into place.

But are they really falling into place? Or is God putting them there?

I'd like to think the latter. I have been praying for God to work behind the scenes and help bring together all the right people and tools we need for this project. While there are still many unknowns, I'm taking that first step.

I am so inspired by this short speech Denzel gave to a group of young actors. In it he says:

"Between goals and achievement are discipline and consistency." 

"It's not how much you have; it's what you do with what you have."

I am in between my goal and achievement. I am disciplined and determined to make the most of the resources I have. Won't you help my dreams not be dreams?

how to lose a girl in one date. coming soon.

How do you lose a girl in one date? Let me count the ways... But before I do, I will give you a little background to this story.

Four years ago, I packed up and moved out to LA to pursue my career in acting. I didn't know what to expect. What to do. Where to go. I still don't. But my dad once said something that stuck with me.

If you ask anyone who has achieved great success how they go to the "top," they will likely tell you they had the confidence they would succeed and just figured it out along the way, taking one step at a time.

There's a great quote by Martin Luther King, Jr. that is such a beautiful picture of this:

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." 

Now, having faith that everything will work out and that success will come is great. But that doesn't mean we don't have to do our part, taking the first step, and then the next, and then the next...

There's another quote I love by Ann Landers:

"Opportunities are often disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."

Ain't that the truth.

As an actor in LA, it doesn't take long for one to realize how incredibly competitive an industry this is. Even if you are incredibly talented, there are no guarantees for success. I believe those who do achieve success do so through a combination of perseverance (through all the rejection) and being proactive (making things happen for themselves.)

So, instead of sitting around waiting for my agents and manager to call me with an audition, instead of waiting for an opportunity to come my way, to magically show up on my doorstep...

and let's be honest: very rarely, if ever, will an opportunity just show up at your doorstep... unless yo're on one of those tv shows where some guy with a huge, oversized check shows up at your door with cameras and tells you that you just won millions of dollars...

I have decided to get out there and make my own. Why wait for someone to hire me to play a role when I can write one for myself?

I have combined my love for writing and acting along with my plethora of - eh hem, interesting - dating experiences to create a series called, "how to lose a girl in one date." 

I have developed the concept, storyline, and characters. I have written the first season. I have sat around wondering how I would ever get this shot. I have doubted my efforts completely. And then I have decided to take a step of faith.

And the Lord has been so faithful. I have prayed that the right team would come together to make this possible, and God has truly begun to bring such an incredible group of individuals together to help me bring this vision to life. And I can't wait to see who else he brings together to play a part in turning hard work into opportunity, turning a dream into reality, and ultimately turning a tragedy into a comedy.

And YOU can be part of that team. Find out how, HERE. 

How do you lose a girl in one date? I will count the ways. But you will have to stay tuned and find out! Follow us on Facebook to keep up to date with the latest.

Until then, I will leave you with some very deep, very profound words from the a great and wise lyricist of our time:

"I'm not the girl who always has a boyfriend; I'm the girl who rarely has a boyfriend." - Taylor Swift

That's deep, Taylor. So very deep.

criminal minds: part 2

First of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone who watch my national television debut last night on Criminal Minds. I was probably only on screen for about a minute, but if you know anything about acting and then entertainment industry, then you know it takes years of perseverance to get there. So while it may not seem like a huge deal, it really meant a lot to have the support and encouragement of my family, friends, and even strangers last night. You guys are great. Success (even just a small glimmer of it) means nothing if you don’t have anyone to share it with. So for that, I thank you.

Now that I can say whatever I want about the episode, here is part two about my experience!

Now, I’ve cried on sets before… but I’ve never had to cry like this. I’m not even sure I’ve cried this hysterically in real life. I’ve been though some hard times. But I’ve never known I was about to die. I’ve never had to plead for my life. Graciously.  

I knew we would have to shoot the scene a number of times. I didn’t know that number would be twelve. And I didn’t know I basically would have to cry for an hour straight. Lying down. Wrists zip-tied.

We did a rehearsal, and I just decided to go for it. First of all, it was about eighty people’s first impression of me and my acting, and second of all, I wanted to make sure the way I was going to do it was okay before the camera was actually rolling. Afterwards Rob Hardy, the director, came over and told me that was great, but that I could save the emotion for when we actually roll camera. He didn’t want me to lose steam the more takes we did, and we were going to be doing my close-up last.

I had a short break to stand up and walk around while they were lighting the set. (I had a stand-in – seriously, how cool is that?!) And Virgil Williams, the writer and producer of the episode, came over and told me virtually the same thing. He said, “Don’t be afraid to hold back when the camera’s not on you. We know you can do it. You blew us away at the audition.” Wow. I didn’t even know what to say. What a huge compliment. As an actor, you go to so many auditions, the vast majority on which you never get any sort of feedback. 

So I attempted to take their advice in the second rehearsal, but I find it somewhat hard to “half” sob and I definitely didn't want to “fake” sob. But turns out the way they shot the scene, I didn’t really have much of an opportunity to hold back. When they rolled camera, my face was in 8 of the 10 takes we did. I only wasn’t in the two close-ups they did on Scott Grimes (who played the UnSub.) The wide shots both started and ended with the camera on my face, with me going from “sobbing” to “hysterical” as the scene progressed.

The last shot we did was my close up. After the first take, Rob came over to me and told me to angle my face more toward Scott so they could see more of my face than just my profile. We did a second close-up shot, and this time Rob kept the camera rolling for what seems like five minutes (it was probably only one) while I just sobbed hysterically. When he finally called “cut” he said, “We got it! And that’s a wrap on Meredith!”

And that’s when the entire crew proceeded to clap… It was such a surreal moment. One of the rare moments in life you know you’ll always remember. Even as it’s happening, you just try to soak in every detail so you’ll never forget it. I’ve never gotten engaged, never walked down an aisle, never had a baby – all of those milestone markers so many have experienced. 

But I had this moment – this moment after spending every single day of the last four and a half years pursuing an acting career, doing every single thing I could – acting classes, headshots, casting director workshops, unpaid projects, hundreds of auditions, struggling to get good representation – never knowing if it would pay off, knowing I am one of millions trying to do this and the odds of me getting a job - any job - are slim... but still choosing every day to continue in this path because I believe in my core, and I feel in my soul that this? This is what I was meant to do. This is where I am supposed to be.

When a crew member came over to pull the duct tape off my face for the twelfth and final time, I announced, “Well, that was my first TV job ever!” And the Rob proceeded to say, “Well, it certainly won’t be your last.” And I just about died. 

I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ending to a perfect day on the set of Criminal Minds – a show I will always be so grateful for – for giving me my first television job and my first legitimate paycheck! (Although let’s be honest, I would have done it for free.)

I left set with a pounding headache and a duct tape rash on my face… And it truly was one of the greatest days of my life. Man, actors are so weird :) 

In fact, I didn’t want to leave. As an actor you never know when your next job will be, never know when you’ll get another chance to act, never know if this will "all work out." It’s a daily battle, an emotional rollercoaster (or “emolicoaster” – that one's for you, Linds), a dark road through the unknown. But if you have a little hope, a little light to guide you through that next step into the darkness, well, that's all you need. 

And then hopefully one day you'll look back at that seemingly treacherous mountain you climbed and you'll think, “That wasn’t so scary.” And you'll continue to trudge forth and before you know it you'll turn around and that first mountain you climbed will be a mere molehill in comparison to the most recent journey you’ve had. And the "mountains" you climb will grow larger with each mini journey you take.

With a little faith, a lot of God's grace, and a heck of a lot of perseverance, you just might even be so lucky as to find yourself achieving even your wildest of dreams. But until then… you just take the next step. That's what I'm going to do. That's all I know to do. 

Check out my Instagram & Facebook for more photos from set.

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If you liked this post, you may like: how do we measure success?, Criminal Minds: part 1, Faith, Hope and KFC, they audition people for this?

criminal minds: part 1

Tuesday morning I woke up wondering if it was all a dream. Probably because I was still delirious from waking up at 4am the day before… But still.  

The 12 hours I spent on set Monday filming Criminal Minds could arguably be 12 of the best hours of my life. That day completely reaffirmed just how much I love acting and just how much I want to be doing this every day.

I can’t accurately describe the whole experience until after the episode airs, but I will write about what I can…

From the time I arrived at the studio lot for my 5:30am calltime, there were people escorting me everywhere I needed to go – to the hair/makeup trailer, to set, telling me lunch is served, delivering my wardrobe. I was definitely not used to that. I hope I never get used to that. I hope I always remain as grateful as I was to be working my very first day on a production of that level as I do if I am so lucky to be working my 1,000^th day.  

-my trailer-

There’s nothing like being on a set like this. There’s no amount of acting classes that can prepare you for the feeling of having close to 100 people bustling around – the director and producers (who have worked on handfuls of shows you’ve watched from your couch for years), actors (well-known ones you’ve watched from your couch for years), PAs, stand-ins, crew guys drilling things into the ceiling at the last minute – and the equipment – cameras (right in your face), monitors, boom mics (right above your head). And as an actor, you have to focus and not let these things distract you. You have to pretend none of it’s there.

Working with Rob Hardy, the director of the episode, was amazing. He is the nicest, coolest guy. When it was time to film my scene, he called me to set, gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. He made me feel like I’d known him for years and totally put me at ease. And after you see the episode, you will see why that was so great ;)

-me & Rob-

Also, I have to say that Joe Mantegna is the nicest guy ever. Seriously love that man. Hardly know him, but it doesn’t take much to know he is great. 

I pretty much didn’t want to leave when the day was over. I had just had the most surreal moment of my life thus far (which I will write about after the episode airs). I am so thankful for this opportunity… That Scott David and Becky Silverman selected me to audition for the role… That Rob Hardy and Virgil Williams took a chance on an actress with no prior TV credits to be in their episode… That I didn’t bomb my performance on set ;)

Mostly I am thankful to the Lord – not only is He the one who gave me any talent I have, He has also provided a means for me to utilize them. That is largely through my family and their unfailing support and encouragement – without which I surely would have packed up and moved back to Dallas by now! I truly love acting, and I feel so blessed to be able to pursue it as a career. There are so many opportunities on a set to share your faith. The entertainment industry can be a dark place. My prayer is that I will be a light for Christ in that darkness. Hopefully this is just the first of many incredible, indescribable, and incomparable experiences to come.

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If you liked this post, you may enjoy: how do we measure success?, criminal minds: part 2