for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Recovering from surgery has been interesting. I am used to being very active - going on walks, running down to the ocean and back, hiking, doing yoga, weight training. My active lifestyle may, in fact, very well have caused my hernia.

At some point (unbeknownst to me) my ab muscles separated slightly, leaving a small indention just above my belly button. I noticed it one night when I was home visiting my family over Easter. So naturally my mom pulled out her iPad, started googling, and self-diagnosed me with a hernia. 

She was right. 

I had to have surgery to fix it. It just doesn't heal on it's own. They literally had to stitch my ab muscles back together.

I wasn't able to work out for two weeks leading up to the surgery as the tear was getting noticeably worse in doing so. And I am not allowed to work out for six weeks after the surgery. 

Needless to say, this has been a huge change in lifestyle for me. Not only does working out make me feel healthy, release tension and stress, and give me energy, it makes me feel strong. 

So without being able to work out, I already feel weak. And on top of that, I feel weak in other ways in that I either can't do - or can barely do - the most menial of tasks without my stomach hurting such as: make my bed, do laundry, sweep, vacuum, carry groceries, chop Kabocha squash, walk, sit up, or even lay down.

But I was in my car yesterday, and I started thinking about how - despite being so weak physically - I feel so strong in the Lord. In going through not only this surgery, but also other difficult things in my life this past week, the Lord has given me the most unexpected, overwhelming strength I have ever felt.

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:10:

"For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Which then made me think of the children's song Jesus Loves Me: 

They are weak, but He is strong.

I don't know if I ever fully grasped the meaning of that. I still probably don't. I'm the first to admit that I don't have all the answers, and I don't fully comprehend the Lord's ways (who does!). But I do have a whole new appreciation for and understanding of this concept of being made strong in my weakness.

It really is the most wonderful feeling, knowing that no matter how weak we feel (physically or emotionally), that the Lord is stronger than any trial we are facing (physically or emotionally). That He has the power and ability to gives us strength.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. - Isaiah 40:29

one of my favorite photos of my little brother from years ago. he inspires me with his strength and his fearless ability to soar.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. 

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31