"but."

God is faithful. How often I forget that.

How often do I forget all the times in my life he has provided for me? All the times he has so clearly showed up when I needed him the most. All the times he has given me such tangible signs that I am on the right path when I have been so desperate for direction?

Too often.

It’s funny how God will “come at me” from multiple sources or angles in life in order to really teach me something. This year I am reading through the Bible through an app created by my home church from Dallas, TX, Park Cities Baptist Church. And in my Bible study, I am reading through a book called “One in a Million” by Priscilla Shirer. And they are both talking about the same thing.

(I don’t know about you, but I have been a Christian most of my life, and most of my life I have avoided the Old Testament. I’ve always thought it was boring and un-relatable. Not so. Turns out I just never gave it a proper chance.)

Picture this: Moses and the Israelites have been wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. Now, a lot of people mistake this “wilderness” for a “desert.” Not so. A “desert” is barren and without water. A “wilderness” may seem like a desert in certain places at certain times, but the land has little “oases” scattered about that provide water.

God had promised he would deliver them to the Promised Land, 

“a land flowing with milk and honey.” (Exodus 3:17) 

I don’t know about you, but forty years seems like quite a while to wait for God to deliver on his promise. However, throughout this excruciating forty-year trek, God had provided little “oases” every so often throughout the desert, giving them the water and essentials they needed for survival often probably at the times when they were about to lose all hope.

So after forty years, they are finally at the edge of the Promised Land! Yay! Moses decides to send some spies to “check out” this Promised Land. The go and report back with a cluster of grapes on a vine so large it had to be carried on a pole by two men, “We went into the land to which you sent us, and if does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit.” (Numbers 13:27)

“But,” they went on to say…

But. Isn’t there always a “but.” Why do we always have to have a “but” and doubt God?

“But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.” (Numbers 13:28)

They finally made it! They could literally see the Promised Land. God had been faithful. But they still had doubts.

“But” is not where you want to be with God. It’s not a great place to be in your relationship with him. It’s not a comfortable place. It’s not peaceful. It’s not trusting. It’s full of worry, doubt, and anxiety.

I can think of tons of “buts” in my life. Lord, you have called me to LA to be an actress: but the work I am getting is few and far between, but I need to make some money, but I’m not going out on enough auditions, but it’s too competitive.

But, but, but. I can think of a million more.

What about all the ways God has provided for me? Making my move to LA the easiest transition, giving me a solid group of women in this Bible study with whom to be in community, providing me with an amazing place to live?

What about the couple of times when I have sincerely reached a rough place and asked God for a sign that I should continue on this path of pursuing acting? The first time? I booked a tv job, a film role, and a commercial within three months. And the second time? My agent called me with not one, not two, but three auditions. Within an hour! That is unheard of! (At least for me!) If those aren’t signs, I’m not sure what are.

I’m sure you have them, too. If you look back, I am certain you can see times in your life when God “showed up.” When he “delivered” on his promises.

We may not be to the Promised Land yet. But I do know that God is faithful. Where he has called you, he will deliver. It may not be in your timing. And it may not look exactly like you thought it would. But deliver he will.

It can be all too easy to forget God’s truths and to doubt God’s promises when we are going through times of struggle and it feels like we are wandering in the desert. But God has been faithful, and he will continue to do so. We just have to keep the faith and trust that he is leading us to the place where he wants us to go at the time when he wants us to go there. And if we do that, and continue to seek his will, every day he will lead us one step closer to the Promised Land. And just remember he will do so by means of the wilderness, not the desert.

Deuteronomy 11:5 and 11:7 remind us, “It was not your children who saw what he did for you in the desert until you arrived at this place… But it was your own eyes that saw all these great things the Lord has done.” (my emphasis added)

That’s the kind of “but” I want in my life, in my relationship with God, in my daily journey toward the Promised Land. The kind of “but” that is a daily reminder to myself of all that God has done for me in the past – the miracles, the provision, the day to day encouragement he has shown me along the way.

Let’s not get rid of our “but.” Let’s change our “but.”

From: “Lord, you have called me here, but it’s too hard/scary/impossible.”

To: “Lord, you have called me here and sometimes it feels too hard/scary/impossible but I remember the signs of your faithfulness in my life and I trust that you will deliver on your promises to guide my life closer to the Promised Land each day.”